Bubblegum

“You’re not your girlfriend.”

Well, the good news is I am editing again. The bad news is… we’re off the maaAp. The next production is set in the North Pole. Then it looks like we’re headed to, “B-a-r-b-i-e” Land? (pitch rising) This SumMer? (“I’m Ron Burgundy??”) For another (short) routine.

Existential crisis has always been my MO. But for the first time in 9 seasons I am questioning whether Experience Film has finally ‘jumped the shark.’ All I can ask is that you please bare with me.

I knew this moment of doubt was coming. Two years ago EF lost his star to free agency. She had been the pulling force here since the beginning. Was able to borrow her likeness for the last film, A Crouching Tiger. But now the truth is clear as day – it’s time for the director to move on.

I do not want another girlfriend, and I am not presently looking for one. Nevertheless, maybe I need one. A yin to complement the yang. Painful as it is to admit, maybe EF is only half a writer without her… (Dreamy reminiscing).

In the interim we’re patching the anima void with?🥁 “Everybody give a big warm ROaring Tiger welcome to … BUBBLEGUM!!”🙋🏼‍♀️🍬💓🥳🎉🎈🎂🐩👚

Did I lay that on you thick enough?😉 (I am as confounded as you are).

She’s blonde, which is not my type. It’s not so much that I do not find blondes attractive, it’s that they do not find me attractive. Generally speaking.

Her personality is perhaps one or two degrees of separation from Margot Robbie’s. As in, ‘close enough for horse shoes.’ My greatest regret from my last project, A Crouching Tiger, was not revealing Margot’s face in the movie theater sequence. It was a perfect opportunity, a lay-up, and I fumbled the ball.

See, I used a scene from Tarantino’s Once Upon A Time in Hollywood, where Margot’s character, Sharon Tate watches her movie in the theater. A POV shot from the back of theater. I rotoscoped Margot’s reclined feet and replaced the screen with Everything Everywhere. But never revealed her face. In Once Upon a Time, Margot was already watching another Kung Fu movie, even.

What’s more is, when I edited this sequence last summer I had not yet watched Birds of Prey in which Margot plays DC anti-hero, Harley Quinn. Anybody who has seen Birds of Prey will recall the jewel thief character very similar to Joi Wang (Jobu). Between the feminist sensations of Barbie, Birds of Prey, and Everything Everywhere, a proper Margot cameo in Tiger would have been more than appropriate – it would have fit perfectly. And I missed it. “I’m so stupid (so stupid)👋🤦‍♂️” Guess it’s time for a web redemption.

E.F.👚🤷
(Chasing the rabbit🐇 where it leads!)