“I need somebody who’s had a little less caffeine this morning.” -Armageddon

Nothing induces the existential angst quite like browsing your Airbnb host’s television. At such times I wonder if my sole purpose on this rock is to wedge a Nosferatu or a 2001 between editions of The Real Housewives on strangers’ Peacock Home pages. “Continue Watching?” { 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️👯‍♀️👹👯‍♀️👯‍♀️👯‍♀️ } Guess I’m the stranger. Or maybe I’m just a dude.

Following the usual half hour of dissociation, I decided to try Project Hail Mary. I know most people liked it. Furthermore it’s about a dude who questions his place among earthlings and stars alike— a movie for me, right?

At the colorful surface, Hail Mary seems to have a lot going for it. Ryan’s hipster costumes for one. Lush practical sets for another. But 45 minutes in, I realized I had been asking myself the same question for the past 30. How the hell could Castaway-in-space have more cuts than Armageddon?

The hyper editing of Armageddon (1998) is justified because it juggles two dozen major characters and the most action ever put to screen. Project Hail Mary? One. Okay, three characters. And a whole lotta down time. Even so, the edit is close to the same break-neck pace, same amount of seconds per cut (about 2.5) as Michael Bay, “Bayhem’s” masterpiece. And it’s relentless for the duration.

So why? Was it lazy editing? Or caffeinated editing— from the same editor as Cocain Bear?.. Or worse, was it intentional? Was it the studio catering to an audience they believe holds the attention span of goldfish? And if so, were they right to do so. Would the audience have lost interest.

In that instant I fell through a psychological trap door back to square one. Zoning out wondering what percentage of adults would pass the marshmallow test. Or remember a car key for longer than a few seconds if I closed it in the palm of my hand. “Would you, Quintus? Would I?”

I’m not a snob. And I’m certainly not a know-it-all. I know I write that way sometimes, in attempt at authenticity… You know what it is? It’s that I’m sensitive… Film editing is an art that demands sensitivity. Our minds are all we have. And as an editor, you’re asking people to lend you their mind for the duration of your movie, so you can manipulate it. I have zero tolerance for edits that abuse that responsibility, that privilege. Project Hail Mary appears to be an edit that abuses its privilege. But hey, maybe I’m overreacting. People loved this movie so don’t let my gripe bring you down.

A cold plunge in 50 degree Lake Michigan brought me out of my funk soon after. I had a very positive vacation with family. Maybe you’re more interested in that anyway😚 Maybe I was just off, could give the film another try. The good news is, that morning’s consternation led to a chain of events which has since reignited my passion for film editing. It’s one of my favorite things, it’s what I do here. I’m re-reading “In The Blink of an Eye” by Walter Murch, editor of Apocalypse Now, The Godfather, and The Conversation. This week I also re-opened the Sucker Punch Project for the first time since June. Up and at it. We have a planet to save.

…Now watch this (dive)

EF