(Op-Ed) Ingrid Goes West

Opinion piece.
by: Juju Tabooti

The West is collapsing. In spectacular, self-imploding fashion just as we’d prefer it – heads uncomfortably, but assuredly up our own assholes. Is Aubrey Plaza a genius? Or simply the greatest Hollywood punchline since Keeping Up With The Kardashians. She would say the correct answer is both.

Want you guys to understand, when I called Everything Everywhere All At Once the GOAT, it wasn’t for its merit, but the sheer absurdity. Sure there are better movies, from 2022 even, but what makes Everything Everywhere so great (so poignant, shall we say). is that it says so honestly and effortlessly how lost westerners are.

Aubrey Plaza and The Daniels are but 2 recent examples of filmmakers fully embracing that lostness, that uncertainty of what comes next for our oh-so-important viewing pleasure. How do we fill the unholy void left by the Jewish-American empire gone supernova? Indie studio, A24 bet on China. And it paid to the tune of 7 Oscars. Leaving Ari Gold holding his own dick.

And it was all fun and games; all jovial power-grabbing politics. That is until the trojan horse revealed its insidious cargo. And now I can’t unsee it. Waymond Wang holding the bag with his wife and daughter’s googley eyes. The inevitability of Chinese cultural conquest over American excess and narcissism. For it is justified.

Our governments may not know it yet, but the filmmakers do – Only one of these cultures has a sustainable future on this planet. The other looks like this:

Photo from my Spotify Homepage. Taken today (4/19/23) I had to screenshot it. HOMEPAGE

Winking Caption – “How’s your 4/20 going bruh? Sick dawg, I’m just out here on my yaht plowing this skank I just picked up in The Valley. Bout to jump off this bitch and sink to the bottom with all these rocks in my pocket. Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh. Freelance babyY!!!

Did you know Jobu Tupaki translates to “Pocket Rocket”?

Spotify has 140 million active users. Seeing as I have no idea who these yah-whos are, this must be on every user’s homepage today I’m guessing. It’s definitely not customized toward my listening history, I can tell you that.

Now I’m feeling like an old and jaded little pill. Guess It’s time for a rally claw. YOLO!
Chapter 2?๐Ÿ˜ณ


6 thoughts on “(Op-Ed) Ingrid Goes West

Add yours

  1. I have not seen any of these films.

    All I know is every day the apparent Weltanschauung of the Americans is so un-moored to the pilings of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Christ, Augustine and Aquinas that we cannot help but see these individuals vessels tossed helplessly in the storm of chaos.

    What arrogance to presume they could figure it all out without help.

    I mean, we have cell phones now. Google the answers to what it all means?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Any one of these lucid thinkers would save us if we read books. If only there was a way to monetize it๐Ÿค” Stick advertisements for Johnson&Johnson between the pages. (Feeling bitter today๐Ÿ˜ค)โœŒ๏ธ


      1. How about we get an Augustine look alike to endorse a product. I know there is one out there called “simple truth”, I think it is butter. Truth was among his topics. Works for me.


      2. Augustine’s story sounds interesting. A soul striving for grace, and indeed becoming nicknamed The Doctor of Grace, despite having a child out of wedlock. He must have done more than enough good to atone for his indiscretions…

        ‘Tis true we are also a Christian Nation. And there are pockets of real good among our ranks. I have befriended a couple of young Christians (late 20s-yr.-old) at work. Their morality and pure, positive disposition ensured their rapid promotion within the corporation. But they just recently became dissillusioned by the immoral behavior of the upper managers, and so resigned. And this righteous, rebellious action has inspired me and a number of my co-workers to fight for more humane policies.

        Besides that their disposition in general has truly inspired me. Friendly, moral (one is a new father), grace-seeking, leadership… Republican. I asked this great young guy what he thought of Trump and he said, while he didn’t prefer him he’d still vote for him again in 2024. I told him, “you deserve better.” We all do.


    1. American Beauty is so moving. One of my all-time favorites as well. I remembered this classic while reading your recent review of Sam Mendes’ Revolution Road.

      Plenty of great American movies worth celebrating. You can tell Everything Everywhere pulled from them. Including American Beauty I just realized. (Probably). The single-daughter family setup at least.

      Liked by 1 person

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