My Good Writing

My good writing only happens between the hours of 3 and 6 am… Which is why I don’t write much. The conditions have to be just right, you know. In my case, the sobriety needle must rest precisely between “HAMMERED” and “HUNGOVER DON’T OR I’ll THROW A SHOE AT YOU”.

It’s gotta be the dead of night, after a fun social evening (rare as a jabberwocky). I must have passed out watching Team America World Police or a comparably outrageous and offensive comedy, and been awoken *spontaneously* three hours later to the blue screen of death and proceeded to roll off the couch like there was a goddamned fire, desperately searching for the remote to turn the TV off. Found it. Hydrated…

Furthermore, I must have, upon waking in the dead of night and turning off the blue screen of death in utter horror, and hydrating, must have then re-cozied up with my cell phone, proceeded to visit every single page on the entire internet, watched at least 10,000 Youtube shorts, plugged my phone in to charge, strolled to the kitchen for a snack, returned to the couch, re-cozied up with my phone laptop, played 3 games of chess, paused. And then deliberately made the decision to try an write something for the blog.

If any single one of these prerequisites is not met… If I am not in this mythical Goldilocks region of space time, then it’s all just meh… Maybe this is how women feel about sex🤔 Guys on the other hand are like, Anytime Anywhere All at Once, baby. <– (The sequel😂).

I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve scrapped in recent months. So much negative. Visions of the apocalypse… I quit my job earlier this week after very nearly suffering a heart attack from being criminally over-worked. A full week’s bedrest, a heart healthy diet, and some magical, Chat GPT-certified😉 herbal remedies and I’m UP like Charlie’s Grandpa. The body is definitely still broken, but morale is high, and for a moment at least, I’m having fun again. And that is a very good thing, isn’t it?

E.F.