Barbershop Zen💈

“In Penny Lane, there is a barber showing photographs

Of every head he’s had the pleasure to know

And all the people that come and go

Stop and say hello”

The Movie Soul (2020) reestablished my belief that the barbershop is a mystical place. The paradoxical red and blue spirals swirl as a reminder💈


At some point in my young adulthood I decided I wouldn’t go to my hairdresser sober. And every time since. I’ve never looked back.


It’s just too great an opportunity to pass up. A person who dares alter my appearance and personality so directly is a person worthy of my utmost attention. A person I can learn from. If that means consuming substances ahead of time then so be it.


I never mention it, or act funny. I play it cool. Sometimes I remain quiet, supple. I let myself enjoy the silence and the physical attention. Other times I engage in the best conversations we’ll have all day. Real. But chill. Be cool. Don’t over-excite. Imagine their job. Imagine cutting a stranger’s hair, as they like it, talking to them about life the whole time, at the SAME time. And then imagine doing that 12 times in a row. That’s a day in the life of a hair dresser. Pretty freakin hard if you ask me. So don’t take more than your share. Don’t ask them to do anything different.


When they ask me how it feels at the end I always answer, “great.” Even if it’s not. Out of respect for their service. Out of respect for the mystical experience transpiring.


Be cool. Pay more than they ask. Say thank you, not only for your hair, but for the lessons you take with you. And grab some road lollies before you leave🍭😉

EF

16 thoughts on “Barbershop Zen💈”

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    1. Good on you! I’m impressed. My girlfriend was cutting my hair. Alas, the universe has called her to go away. 🎵 “The girl that’s driving me mad is going away.” And I do miss her, for much more than her styling prowess! I am definitely back into The Beatles! And will keep listening🙌🏼

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  2. My hair, alas, is too long to do more than trim. I treasure it the way it is. I’ll keep it trimmed occasionally for split ends, but that’s about it. (I learned about split ends the other day from a girl and a guy who were doing drugs in my presence. As I don’t do drugs, I disapproved, but said nothing in their presence. My words weren’t going to change their lifestyle and I was a guest in their pad.)

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    1. I take drugs very sparingly, and in very small amounts. Am getting to a point in my life where I understand how much is good for me vs. how much is harmful (in all the ways drugs can be, of course). But I cannot deny my social anxiety, nor how much drugs ease the social exchanges I’m involved in. For me its a cost-benefit analysis. I deem the social benefits usually outweigh the costs. So I take them. Again, very sparingly. That’s just me🤷🏽

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      1. I recommend this book (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/110490.From_Chocolate_to_Morphine), which opened my mind to all kinds of drugs. I’m a chocoholic, but don’t use any other drug except occasional tea. I tried various types of alcohol in my late teens, got drunk once to see how it feels (no desire to repeat) and tried smoking pot, but nothing made me take another sip.

        I used to go to barber shop to cut my hair until I moved to Finland. There my mother in law, who was a barber, did it. After I moved away I started to cut it myself with the buzzer. I did enjoy the process, was kind of meditation and sometimes I even fell asleep. I had my style and I just said the same as the last time, no fuss. 😀

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      2. I can’t wait to read this, thanks! Amazing how clean you are. My Dad is the same way and I can’t argue with the results – productive, rich, loving – he’s 70 but doesn’t look a day over 55. Abstinence is a virtue.

        Maybe I’m just different lol (“You’re boy’s different, Mrs. Gump”). Pretty much clean up until college. But nothing good or special ever happened to me. My High school experience was so bland and mediocre. And my months-at-a-time breaks from all drugs throughout adulthood have gone the same – bland, depressed worthlessness.

        Discovering marijuana more in college, and then getting an ADD med prescription (Vyvanse) was a game-changer. The first day I tried my roomates’ ADD med it was like a blind person having their sight restored. Felt like I could focus and learn for the first time in my life. ADD meds were effective throughout my 20s until life got so crazy and stressful and now they just hurt my heart. LSD is my new interest. Like my first experience with ADD med, the first time I took LSD (Age 27) It was once again like being a blind person having sight restored, but in a different way. Now I could not only focus, but LOVE.

        I seem to have a bad brain, probably from a combination of genetics, environmental toxins / pesticides, etc. Sometimes I really think they got me at birth, man. A chemical labotomy (Hence, the ADD). There is a permanent hollow ache between my temples. All I know for sure is I need all the help I can get from drugs. 2nd half of my life I plan to experiment more into psychedelics. But first I need to heal my broken heart and body.

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      3. I feel you man. My 11 year old appears to have bipolar disorder. He’s been different since birth and for the last 8 years we’ve been trying to get a diagnosis… really stressful and taxing journey for my family.

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      4. As I’m sure you know, you and your family are not alone. I feel like the kids are so in shock of this technological world – their biology does not know how to handle it. To add some relevant personal experience – as a child I had terrible periods of anxiety (each lasting for about 3 months, and then completely dissipating. No doctors. No medications were ever involved) Ages 6, 10, and 14. Each time I experienced severe anxiety, worry and crying spells. Each bout of anxiety went away on its own. After 14 I never have experienced this kind of anxiety again, and have been mildly depressed ever since.

        My older sister has a boy and a girl (ages 4, 2, respectively) And they are absolute terrors. It’s like they are in pain all the time. My nephew has always been a wild, bruiser, but my niece was the sweetest, calm little princess angel for first 2 years and now she is a complete terror. Throws tantrums every time I see her. Neither of them will listen to their parents. They actively fight and resist their parents on absolutely everything. It’s frightening. Frightening. So, that’s my experience. And you’re not alone.

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      5. I don’t know what’s going on but the exceptions have become the norm and we parents are not prepared much less the society at large how to deal with the kids and prepare them for the future.

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      6. BTW staying clean was not by choice but by taste. I just don’t like things most people do. I do admit I was always interested in hard drugs but was afraid to try (due to the fact you can cat easily addicted in a chemical way). By now I mostly lost interest.

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      7. I checked out the Drug book👍 And btw I am currently 10 days Clean – off Marijuana, which I had developed a dependence on this past year – using it almost daily, every-other day for pain relief. And I have to say, honestly I’m noticing some positive changes. My head and body still hurt but I seem to be a little sharper cognitively. … Might have taken the marijuana a little too much this past year. Maybe. I just thought I’d share that for reference🙂

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  4. My best friend is also my hairdresser. We used to both drink wine with my cuts and dyes. A few times it showed in my cut. 🥸 Now we’re both sober tho and my hair is always perfect when I leave. I’ve made some art for her salon, I’ll have to share them on the blog sometime. Take care, peace and love!

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