Chill Switch Engage

Hayley

Our freezer failed the other night, evident by the ice cream crime scene in the kitchen. Sister came to me with two dripping palms and a sickened expression and I realized our chill was in danger. EF is living with his baby sister because times are tough. She has special needs, a big heart, works two jobs and at the end of the day has but one simple request— and that, Dr. Evil, is to have treats that DON’T FRICKIN MELT all over her hands. Fortunately for both of us, the fix was easy as flicking a switch to, “More Chill.” One of us must’ve bumped it the other way by mistake. Fhew! Now where’s the chill switch on everything else?❄️😈

EF

35 thoughts on “Chill Switch Engage”

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      1. Mr Freeze, yes, that’d be a good one. I’ll hafta see what I can do. It’s been a really hot summer here too, since July really when Wimbledon was on. Saw some of the Cincinnati open highlights as well, remember that being mentioned on the news here. Having a nice lazy weekend here so hopefully staying cool and in the shade 🙂

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    1. Indeed Europe is experiencing one of the greatest increases in annual temperatures any region on Earth, per the PBS Newshour. Scorching here too. Wildfires everywhere, and the President just ordered NASA to scuttle our greenhouse emission monitoring satellites😑 It is HARD to stay cool right now. But cool is the way🖖😎❄️

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  4. Hi EF, as my friend Paul Bowler says the heat has been noticeable in the UK. Luckily Mrs Tyeth does a lot of shopping at a frozen food store ironically named Iceland Foods and she has obtained a lot of those stay cool freezer shopping bags. If we have a power outage or freezer fault we have a chance to put some food in the bags to last about 2-3 hours giving us a chance to fix the fault.
    And in regards to getting messy hands while eating frozen treats here’s a tip – use aluminium foil to form a drip catcher. Wrap the lower half of the foil sheet around the ice cream cone or bar then flare out the upper edge to form a sort of bowl. All the best, For “Frosty” Tyeth.

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  6. It’s usually 3rd-world US infrastructural power outages here. I’ll have to pull out the generator and run a cord through the window for a few days. Mostly in the winter… so I suppose there’s always the snow if I get desperate. But then it’s nice to have heat.

    I admire your human commitment. A good supply of ice cream can help. But not with everything. (ツ)b

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  8. Glad your melting-ice-cream issue has been resolved swiftly! “Now where’s the chill switch on everything else?” Ahah, wouldn’t that be nice? I know it’s been sweltering hot everywhere in the world, both physically and figuratively. We all could use a ‘chill out.’ Cheers!

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  10. Maybe if your sister wasn’t such a goddamn American whore cunt fucking shit. You shit fucks need to die. Fucking die. Lose your babies too you cocksuckers. Fuck America and fuck you ya bleeding cunt fuckin Yankee. Fuck you in a fire

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      1. No. From my heart to yours: I hope someone in your family or close to you is dying of a horrible illness. Fuck you into a hole in the ground. You’re a cunt. Get covered in blood

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  13. Were JUST looking at the weather forecast like two minutes ago here in LA, and it’s gonna be 97 today, 99 tomorrow. Well, I’m glad you were able to salvage part of the day with classic Arnie.

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  15. This sounds like the time I accidentially bumped the control switch on the light in the fridge…then opened the fridge to find the light was out…then automatically assuming the fridge was deceased…and then beginning to panic. I don’t know what finally made me “see the light,” but one switch of the switch and life returned to normal. Since that day, when anything mechanical looks like it has failed I rely on the classic IT opening question…”is it plugged in?”💡

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